Sunday, February 20, 2011

I Miss My Tooth

When I come back from the gym I feel justified in eating whatever I want in whatever quantity I want. Without guilt to hold me back, I become a ravenous beast that eats everything sight with the reckless abandon of an Asian woman's driving.

Recently I came back from Ritchie Coliseum and proceeded to shovel food in my mouth rapidly and efficiently. Then it happened. I bit down too enthusiastically, right onto my metal chopstick. I heard a crack and knew at once that I had chipped my front tooth. I went to the mirror to see the damage. Thankfully, you can't really tell anything is wrong unless you are right up in my mouth, in which case, I would have more pressing issues to worry about.

Nobody ever told me that the side effects of getting bigger arms would be imperfect teeth and another reason to dislike Koreans.


Sticky Rice

4 Cups Glutinous Rice
Chinese Sweet Sausage
Chicken Thighs
Straw Mushrooms
Diced Carrots
3 Eggs
Oyster Sauce
Soy Sauce
Vegetable Oil

There is nothing in this dish that could possibly chip my tooth. I will also eat it with my hands.


I was afraid to buy the "Sweet Glutinous Rice" at the store because I thought it was going to be literally full of sugar. In retrospect, that's the kind of rice you want, but sushi rice works well too. Soak the rice in water for 6-8 hours.

Cook the rice in a rice cooker with two tablespoons of oil, and three tablespoons of soy sauce. I don't have a rice cooker so I slummed it on the stove.

In a hot skillet, cook 3-4 diced sweet Chinese sausage links. I'm obsessed with sweet Chinese sausage so I used like, 100 links, as you can see.

Add diced chicken thighs, onions, mushroom, carrots, and peas (in that order). When everything is cooked through add 3 tablespoons of oyster sauce. At this stage, the contents of your pan should look like a Jackson Pollock painting. Scramble the eggs on the side and mix them in.

When the rice is done, fluff it up with a fork to get as much separation between grains as possible. Fold the sauteed ingredients into the rice and season with additional soy sauce to taste.


Ironically, the food I can eat at a feverish pace without killing myself is also so fattening that it completely counteracts my progress at the gym.